Last updated 21:29, Thursday, 29 May 2008

THIS WEEK I have been looking at job adverts.

I did it not because of any need to find a new job, but because I am intrigued by some of the over-blown job titles we see in adverts.

Vision Clearance Executive, for instance, is a posh name for a window cleaner, and if you answered an ad for an Education Centre Nourishment Production Assistant you might be surprised to find yourself in an overall and hairnet - it’s a dinner lady.

Apparently some people do apply for these bizarrely-named jobs - and have admitted that they were not what they expected.

It used to be that when you saw an advert you knew immediately what the job was for. Secretary, welder, electrician, farm hand - people knew whether or not they were qualified to do these jobs and whether there was any point in reading on.

When you were a tot, you probably wanted to be a fireman, or a train driver, or a ballet dancer or a nurse.

I bet not many of you told your mum and dad that you yearned to be a community space challenge co-ordinator or a person-centred services development manager; just two of the jobs advertised this week.

Now, in the Times & Star, our advertisers advertise sensible jobs, such as tractor driver, pharmacy assistant, catering manager, care assistant or car salesman (okay, they call it motor sales executive). We did once have an advert for a Head of First Impressions, which turned out to be a job for a receptionist.

Would you know whether your skills suited you to be a harm reduction worker or a waking night residential worker? I thought not.

How about becoming a People’s Voices Volunteer Advocate or an Interim Head of Learner Engagement - that’s a part-time lecturer - or, if you fancy what’s described as ‘an exacting role’ you could apply for a job as an arrest referral practitioner.

All together now: My old man’s a waste production engineer; he wears a waste production engineer’s hat . . .