Last updated 19:41, Thursday, 26 June 2008

THIS week I have been musing on the contents of the Queen’s handbag.

This came about because of excited debate among colleagues who covered Her Majesty’s visit a few weeks ago and who claim they saw the royal reticule on the back seat of her limousine. Speculation on the contents was rife.

Does the Queen carry a purse? After all, she doesn’t need to get her gloves dirty scrabbling about for a 50p piece, a 20 and a five to pay the 75p-for-an-hour at the parking machine because she never has to pay to park.

And she is hardly likely to nip out of Buckingham Palace and walk down the Mall to the corner shop because she has run out of milk or needs a tin of Doggichunx for the corgis.

Perhaps Her Majesty needs a purse because she has to dip into it when someone comes round her office to collect for a member of staff who is moving on or retiring.

When the giant leaving card is presented for her to sign, perhaps she writes ‘one wishes you all the best’ before signing it with her customary flourish.

It is hardly likely that the Queen’s bag is full of till receipts. Unlike us, she does not need to hang on to the one from Wilkinsons so she can exchange the bayonet light bulbs she bought by mistake instead of screw-in ones; or the one from the curtain shop because she wrongly guessed at the measurement of her back bedroom window and needs to swap the 54in drop pair which are too short for a 72in pair which won’t be.

She probably has some make-up and spare tights in there - after all, she always looks immaculate - and perhaps a copy of Hello! magazine, so that she can keep up with the exploits of her grandchildren.

What she won’t have is 13 ball point pens, 12 of which don’t work; a book of stamps and the keys to her front doors - there’s always a flunkey to let her in.

But if anyone does know what is in it, we’d be interested to know . . .