Last updated 14:08, Thursday, 06 March 2008

THIS week I have been pondering some of the great questions of our time.

These include: where does weight go when you lose it? What is Prince Andrew for? Why hasn’t anyone invented an easier way of opening a can of sardines?

If you think about it, there are an awful lot of questions that need answers.

For instance. You often hear of people being disgruntled, but never that they are gruntled. Why not? Should I win the Lottery, I should be extremely gruntled, and I would have no hesitation in saying so.

Which leads me on to another track. Have you ever thought about how strange it would be if certain people had not invented certain things?

For instance, had it been Mr Robinson, instead of the Earl of Sandwich, who had invented the eponymous snack, we would all be buying robinsons instead of sandwiches and asking people whether they would prefer a ham robinson or a cheese and pickle robinson.

The same principle applies to some of our most traditional items of clothing, and had the Duke of Wellington and the Earl of Cardigan not popularised the boots and the woolly - er - cardigan - we might be wearing, say Joneses and Smiths instead of wellies and cardies.

And another point to ponder: whatever happened to lodgers?

When I was young, there were lots of them about, pointed out as ‘Mrs Wilson’s lodger’ but you never hear of them nowadays. Have they all gone to some great lodger heaven, or have their wages improved so much that they don’t need to lodge any more and can buy their own homes or stay in hotels?

We may never know. But in the meantime here is another thing to think about: why, when there are so many pigeons flying about, do you never see a baby one?